Hating for the Sake of the Hater.

     How many of us have spent a few hours on twitter trying to get to the bottom of some heated argument between someone who thought they where expressing a funny thought and someone who got deeply offended?  Sometimes it ends with a few quick jabs while other times it turns into day long rage infused hate fests with multiple parties on both sides chiming in.  In the modern social media obsessed world, there's nothing many of us love more than to gain a few followers, or get a couple of likes on Facebook or Youtube.  The problem becomes however, that these worlds are not real not matter how much we believe they are.
    Now before you jump down my throat about virtual reality and avatars and blah blah blah. Your are right.  There is some merit to that argument but my point is that we are interacting less and less the way we where intended to.  Face to face, hand to hand, in the moment.  Human beings are complicated organisms and when expected to communicate in less than 140 characters, we come off as rather dickish and pretentious in my opinion.
    When reading an online argument, one must really analyze the objective and intent of the attackee and the attacker.  Often times, especially when a comedian is involved, the attackee was merely expressing an opinion or thought they thought would garner a laugh or reaction.  Sometimes the attackee can go to far, cross a line, make a distasteful joke.  Big fucking deal.  I think we'd be hard pressed to not find someone who heard an off colored joke in person.  Uncles are legendary for them.  But have you felt the need to walk over to that person and tell them "That's not funny. Kill yourself" Of coarse not.  This reaction usually occurs in the imaginary space of the internet for the purpose of garnering attention and appearing Pius to people you've never met.
     We all have opinions.  We all have feelings.  We've all laughed at others expenses, and been laughed at ourselves. We've all been offended and we've all laughed at offensive things.  But feeling the need to personally tell someone something is not funny or that something is offensive is not your job.
     It's also amazes me that the only people that garner a harsh reaction from the Twitter world are the ones with the most perceived value to other users. Your not going to pick a fight with some guy in bum fuck nowhere with 50 followers.  Of coarse not.  What benefit is that?  You need the comedian with 51,000 followers so everyone can see how righteous and progressive you are for calling this person out and attacking them in away that you would never do in person.  That's how to boost your own twitter value.

     It's called a game.  And really the only ones that play are the ones who just want to pretend they're something they're not.  It's great as a tool and a way to share idea's with like minded individuals.  But when you choose to occupy that space and live in that world in a way that just doesn't translate into reality, you are propping yourself up with false personal inflation, digital style.  Keep funny funny and keep your opinions to yourself.

Who Am I and Where Do I Wish to Go?

    Have you ever been told you are good at something by a friend or family member?  I'm sure we all have.  And there exists my current predicament.  I've spent most of my life so far experimenting and experiencing many different things.   Although many of my friends love to hear stories about what I've done and seem almost jealous of my random existence, I can't help but still feel empty.
    Being 28 and a recent college graduate, I'm often faced daily with the question of what am I going to do next?  Do I have a job lined up?  Do I know what field I want to work in? Or where?  My answer is always honest.  With a little smirk and a slight break of eye contact, I simply reply, "I have no clue."  Just breathing those words often fills me with a sense of self pity and loathing.  Will I ever get my shit together and step into the real world? Frankly though, this "real world" everyone keeps talking about sounds fucking terrible.
    I've always been told I was talented but I'm starting to realize that everyone else is told the same type of thing as they grow up.  After all, what parents would tell their child, sorry Susie, your just not pretty enough to be an actress? Or sorry Johnny, I don't think your IQ will ever quite get there to be an astrophysicist.  Truth be told, we all have experienced some level of pandering as we developed, otherwise I doubt any of us could ever dream and aspire to be great.  I've heard it said many times that half the battle of success is believing in yourself.  But what about those who believe in themselves 100% yet lack the skill or talent?
    In my mind, I see who I want to be.  I know what I would like to do for a living.  But in all reality, it is also the dream of a multitude of other extremely talented individuals who are currently cutting their teeth nightly and working the club scene.  Do I really have talent or have I just received amazing ego fellatio my entire life? 

    In the end, I understand that mindset is the ultimate determining factor.  It's as the amazing quote from Henry Ford relays "Whether you think you can or think you can't, your right" and these words ring true I believe with anyone who feels inspired to go above and beyond what expectations of life can be.  Whenever I get myself motivated to take the leap of faith, my dark subconscious always calls me back with 5 words that have haunted me my whole life.  "Who the Fuck Are You?"  Only until I can confidently answer back, "I am someone who deserves to be happy and live fulfilled like anyone else" will I ever break my cycle of self defeat and lack of confidence.

SIDENOTE: Apologizes for this post as I did not have it proofread and I feel it makes little sense.  I sat down at the keyboard swimming in thoughts and this is what came out.  I usually try to end my posts on a slightly higher note offering some helpful advice but in this case, I have none.  This is an issue that for me has dominated my thought process for a long time and if anyone would like to connect and offer advice, please feel free!