Who Am I and Where Do I Wish to Go?

    Have you ever been told you are good at something by a friend or family member?  I'm sure we all have.  And there exists my current predicament.  I've spent most of my life so far experimenting and experiencing many different things.   Although many of my friends love to hear stories about what I've done and seem almost jealous of my random existence, I can't help but still feel empty.
    Being 28 and a recent college graduate, I'm often faced daily with the question of what am I going to do next?  Do I have a job lined up?  Do I know what field I want to work in? Or where?  My answer is always honest.  With a little smirk and a slight break of eye contact, I simply reply, "I have no clue."  Just breathing those words often fills me with a sense of self pity and loathing.  Will I ever get my shit together and step into the real world? Frankly though, this "real world" everyone keeps talking about sounds fucking terrible.
    I've always been told I was talented but I'm starting to realize that everyone else is told the same type of thing as they grow up.  After all, what parents would tell their child, sorry Susie, your just not pretty enough to be an actress? Or sorry Johnny, I don't think your IQ will ever quite get there to be an astrophysicist.  Truth be told, we all have experienced some level of pandering as we developed, otherwise I doubt any of us could ever dream and aspire to be great.  I've heard it said many times that half the battle of success is believing in yourself.  But what about those who believe in themselves 100% yet lack the skill or talent?
    In my mind, I see who I want to be.  I know what I would like to do for a living.  But in all reality, it is also the dream of a multitude of other extremely talented individuals who are currently cutting their teeth nightly and working the club scene.  Do I really have talent or have I just received amazing ego fellatio my entire life? 

    In the end, I understand that mindset is the ultimate determining factor.  It's as the amazing quote from Henry Ford relays "Whether you think you can or think you can't, your right" and these words ring true I believe with anyone who feels inspired to go above and beyond what expectations of life can be.  Whenever I get myself motivated to take the leap of faith, my dark subconscious always calls me back with 5 words that have haunted me my whole life.  "Who the Fuck Are You?"  Only until I can confidently answer back, "I am someone who deserves to be happy and live fulfilled like anyone else" will I ever break my cycle of self defeat and lack of confidence.

SIDENOTE: Apologizes for this post as I did not have it proofread and I feel it makes little sense.  I sat down at the keyboard swimming in thoughts and this is what came out.  I usually try to end my posts on a slightly higher note offering some helpful advice but in this case, I have none.  This is an issue that for me has dominated my thought process for a long time and if anyone would like to connect and offer advice, please feel free!